Halloween!!

Things have been kind of "off" lately. Tonight is Halloween...(sigh). Yeah, i'm supposed to be going out a lil bit later...

Today I finally had a dentist appointment that should be putting my in the right direction towards by treatments. I have been agonizing over it for the past three months. I'm just ready to continue and start getting my teeth straight, you know.
But yeah, i was sitting in the dentist office today about ready to cry. I had finally got the insurance company to switch me dentist providers cuz them people in west Plano were nothing but a hastle and a headache, and i just couldn't deal with it anymore!!! So finally, I got the office in Denton, about 5 mins away from me. At least if their dentist ever cancels on me because they have to pick up the daughter from school i won't be 30 minutes away and have to turn back. Yeah, this literally happened to me before...i was NOT happy! = I
....but anyway, its taken care of now so yeah, I'm on my way, thank the Lord! I'm also thankful for the church family we has brought me to: Lifeline. I hope i can become more involved there.
He has also been taking care of me financially as well, and all i can be is thankful. Just thankful--because He has taken care of me. This is nothing i have done by any means! trust me.
And he reminded me on Sunday that i should be using the access he's given me to share with others and to build and edify the body (the body of Christ, other believers) and not just keep it all to myself. So i decided to share, and this made me happy because all i want to do is edify thet body and please the God i serve. I know i'm not the best person i could be at times...I could definately do better at being more "intentional" with others (believers and non), imitating Christ who lives on the inside of me.
Today i was still sitting in the Dentist though, i was about to cry. Although a lot of things seem to be going well right now, there is still one thing that continues to bother me. Will i ever be in a relationship? and How much longer must i wait?? This thought haunts me daily. It makes me sad because I feel like deserve to be in a relationship. Not that i'm this "perfect person" or anything like that...I just feel like i'm too nice, caring, and loving to be alone right now. Maybe that does sound a little arrogant...ok, it does. I apologize. I'm just so tired of being single now. As i was layin on my back in the cold green chair gazing into the opaque lamp above me (in the dentist office) I started to worry because I haven't been in a relationship so long that i almost fear what i would be like...
am i even good enough? will i be able to keep him? am i really worth all the trouble that i may cause him? on the flip side--will he really be worth all the trouble he may cause me?