I'm so tired! But i'm still standing. Standing up for me

I'm about fed up with writing for the school paper. I really like writing for the paper, but this is why i'm fed up: I'm sick of the stories i'm always made to write. Granted, I'm not always flocking with new story ideas, but this something is about to change--fast. I need to stop letting people run over me and start standing up for myself, especially about stories that i feel aren't really my taste kind of like the one i have due on Mon...I don't want to write about that, and I got such short notice (they sent out the budget this afternoon, a FRIDAY AFTERNOON, you know when everybody is already gone for the day, or if they haven't left yet, they don't want to be at work...
I'm tired of these crap stories. I just want to write about stuff that i care about for once. When i write about things I care about, the words just spill out so much better. Give me at least something i find remotely interesting. No one probably ever reads my stories, i guarantee that! why? because they aren't fascinating enough. They just aren't. Last year in my interview for this paper, i talked about bringing diversity and a new view. Now that it's nearing the end of this semester, i realized i haven't done squat! I haven't written anything about black people or about any black event...i just discovered today on facebook that there were several things going on that i believe are VERY newsworthy and interesting, and either I had something going on at that time, or i just didn't really check my facebook to know about it because i just been so darn busy...not to mention, I haven't been attending NABJ meetings like i should to even really know what's going on. The weeks go by so fast!
I'm SO DISAPPOINTED in myself. So disappointed. A change starts now. I feel like what i'm doing with this paper is so pointless. I haven't really liked any of the stories that they have had me write...not really. Just boring. I'm not really proud of any of them either, and i guess i have myself to blame for that. The worst part is that my worst article is the last article i have published on the Daily site right now!

This weekend, I want to write about what i care about. This weekend, i'm going to write a story over community service day that's happening Sat. morning. Not sure if anyone's already doing a story over it...i'm just going to do it, take my own pics, the whole works....

And about my dilemma with the paper, I'm just going to do the best I can to look out for the interests of others, not my own. From talking to people i know, i'm going to find out what they want to see, and what they are interested in...
Before the Daily "dies" this semester, I want to write about an EVENT. I'm going to fight mg heart out for it, too. I want to write about black people...I want to write about people who are actually excited about what's happening in a story, and not just "sprung up on" by a random reporter with an assignment saying "Hey, We (the paper) want to do a story on..."
I'm so tired.
I'm tired of being walked all over.
I'm seriously going to be searching now for real stories about things and people that others really care about, or want to know about, or just even find interesting.

I'm standing up now for what I believe.