Resolutions and revelations

Late again. I woke up late this morning--rather yesterday morning, now it's after 12. It's technically new years eve.



I'm glad i'm finally aproaching opportunities to share Christ with people I know at work. All i did was pray about it. Don't know why I waited so long to get real, get serious, you know? Funny thing is, one of my goals in 2007 was to lead someone to Christ. Didn't happen. And the sad part is not that i didn't meet my goal; i'm more sad that there are people out there possibly missing out on Christ because of my unwillingness and disobedience.

Moving on...(i'm really not in the mood today to make excuses for myself or condone it.)

I now take this very seriously, and I even have to question how much i really love God. It's like, do I love him as much as I say I do?



rAnDoMs

I spilt milk on my labtop yesterday. Now my keys type much smoother and don't clank as much. I'm surprised it even works. Gods grace? lol



Ok, so I know ur probably thinkin i'm real spiritual right now, right? No. I'm working on that. Though i seem to write a lot about my faith because I can't shut up about it or stop thinking about it when I'm alone, I only wish and hope that I could talk about it with others as much as I do with myself.



I do have one thing to say about the new year though. I realize that a large portion of this year, though I seem to care about accomplishing what I feel I must do now to fulfill God's plan for my life, I've actually been very selfish. I realized this today as paster Jesse Prince was speaking on the podium today in place of Pastor Gerald. His message wasn't real deep or philisophical. Just simple...but it spoke volumes to me, loud and clear. He talked about Esther.


Basically how all the "success" Esther had (making it as queen of the land, being beautiful and all), still seemed insignificant as she laid her life on the line for an entire nation. Yeah, she could've sat tight in the palace while her people were being slaughtered. She could've been just another little helpless powerless queen, but no. She new she was put in the kingdom for such as time as that. It even says in Esther when she recieved a memo (message) saying basically that either way God's going to save his people whether she did anything or not, and she would just parish to be forgotten if she did not seize the opportunity that lied ahead of her (when it was talking about 'don't think you will escape the decree' and stuff like that with her being a jew and all). In short, she was willing to lay her life on the line, even in the midst of her success. And here's the most awesome part of it all:
This was about her people. Her significance is about God using her to save an entire nation, not the fact that she was a queen. I'm sure there were a lot of queen's before her and after her, but i'm not reading about them so...yeah.

Anyways, he talked about our life being about others and helping them succeed, and even helping them in the midst of your success--using your influence. I want to use whatever influence I have to do this, that is, if I have or will ever have any at all...

Thinkin about this at church, I nearly cried during the alter call thinking about one person in particular: Ms. Pearl.

When Jesse made this statement, or rather a quote, it stopped my racing mind in its tracks. He said "you know you are successfull when you are succeeding because others want you to succeed", or something like it.
Now I don't want to be selfish in this, but I really do want to help others with my life. Why else am I here? because I've already come to a saving knowledge of Christ, and I believe that by faith I am saved, but I want others to come to this place as well.

What can i do? What must i do...?

Resolution #1 (for the new year): Sacrifice myself for others' sake, for their sake.

by the way, about Ms. Pearl. She is the person I thought of after Jesse's quote that I would absolutely love to see her succeed. Of course I wish success for everyone I known and love, but for some reason, this woman that I barely even know, really don't even known personally, except through a brief conversation in Chicago and a short interview over the phone in March, had a profound impact on me. I still remember (though it was months ago during spring break--March).
The thing that stikes me the most about her his her humility and drive to help young mothers succeed who may feel like their in a hopeless situation like she felt she was, but look at God's grace. Now I want to do anything I can to help her recieve the money for the new facility to hold more children and classes and things. Some pleace safe, homey, custom...
I want to see her succeed because she wants others to suceeed so much. A wise woman indeed.