As many of you know, I just moved to Memphis. I’ve been here now for about two months. Some of you may be or may not be clear as to why I’ve moved here, and I want you to know this: that God is AMAZING (what an understatement)
and that he’s been working tremendously not only in this past few months, but in my life in its entirety up to now.
(photo: on the road to memphis)
For the past four years at UNT, I had been working as hard as a little ant at trying to reach 
this goal of becoming a world class journalist. I had taken multiple non-paid positions working for PR agencies, magazines, volunteering at TV stations, events and non-profit organizations. However, the non-profit stuff I took on, I really did have good intentions with, but at the same time I did have ulterior motives sometimes.
Anyhow, I was really focused on this goal. And even hid behind the fact that I wanted to glorify God with the way I do my work…It was true to an extent, but my life was not really centered around him.
So focused and determined, I took on new event after new event and I was swayed back and forth as a wave, and bowing to the expectations of employers and recruiters and people that I believed held my financial future in their hands in this turbulent economy. But even beyond finances, I wanted validation from doing a job well done. I made time for God and said he was a priority, but I didn’t live like it. I spent most of my time doing journalism stuff, working at something that I felt that I wasn’t even good enough to do, but if I worked at it, I could be good enough and graduate and land a good job, save some money and then invest in doing things for the Lord. “Then,” I thought,. “I’ll do what I really want to do.” What I didn’t realize, though, is that I was bound by this.
I was a slave to people’s expectations of me, and I had really sorta kicked God to the curb. Ok, I did kick him to the curb.
Not saying that pursuing a career is wrong. And please don’t get wrapped up in a sacred versus secular jobs or your missing the point. He is much needed in the workplace, and most definitely needed in the church as well as people attend but their hearts are so far from him. This happens because this was me at one point.
I’m not ashamed to admit that there are people
out there like me.
Now, I still plan to be a journalist. This has not changed. What has changed is my heart….
I’ve loved the Lord since I first accepted him as a teenager. However, it was learning how to live in light of this in a world that doesn’t care about the cross and gives God the finger everyday by breathing the air that he made, but denying the Life that he gives that was hard.
Now by coming to a new place were I have no other to depend on but the Lord, I’ve learned that I really could have been living in light of him all the time, but because I was so busy, assuming and even trying to microwave God to fit into my life I missed him when he was still there all along.
And I’m telling you , too, that he’s there. And the cool thing is that when your looking for him with all your heart, you WILL find him. This is promised in several places throughout the His WORD!
That’s a challenge to you--to look.
Anyways while I’ve been here, I’ve been learning the Bible and volunteering, now with an after school tutoring program called Streets Ministries and wherever else I can serve there. I live in a house with four other women my age (like last year, plus one).
Some may look at this as a challenge or even a curse (lol)…however, it has been more of a blessing to me than I can even put into words. It’s amazing how God has brought us together and we get along; like, for real! We’ve been inviting people over for dinner and each of us cook, share recipes and everyone is so creative and artistic. I think that’s tight.
Please do not think of me more highly because of the things I’m doing. If so, then you miss the whole point of why I’m writing this.
Seek God.
BTW you have to die to yourself and your own desires. That’s what makes this walk un-easy. The reward of life with Christ far outweighs the trauma this world may inflict upon you.
I hope you don’t miss him.Listening to: “We Need You” by JR. I just feel so energized every time I listen to this song! It makes me think back to when I was just a freshman or sophomore in high school and I prayed to God for good music that glorified him and allowed me to reflect on his goodness without me being distracted by the fact that I didn’t like the musicality. I desired to hear something that appeased my personal style, and this is it! Thank you Lord!
Photo courtesy of Sara Townsend
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